'Overwhelmed to be in a line of work where everyone seems to know what you should be doing better and what they would do in your place and how they would do things different based on a few days of witnessing it and receiving no praise or encouragement for all you have formed, sacrificed and given your sleep, body and life to for years, 24 hours a day.'
This is what a friend had written on Facebook today. Sound familiar? It certainly rang a bell with me. I often wonder if I'm being petulant when I feel like shouting 'look, look at me, look at what I'm doing, imagine what my life is like, this is mind, body and soul, all day, everyday, no holidays, no days off!' The difference between a bad day at home with the kids and a bad day at the office, is that at the office you can usually get away with it but with motherhood, that's it, you've ruined your kid's life, you've created a sociopath, you've given him a lifetime of low self esteem and all it's related issues. And on a good day, well noone really notices, or just puts it down to you being lucky and having pleasant kids. There's a constant judging that goes on, why can't she control her kids, why does she insist on doing that, surely it would be better if she did abc. When I'm out I often feel people watching me and no that's not paranoia. We draw a lot of attention to ourselves because we're 'foreign' and everyone wants to know what foreign people do with their kids (when we say 'foreign' we mean everyone who is not Turkish, you know, everyone from Yabancıstan). So as well as the normal amount of judging that you feel everywhere, you know that you are being scrutinised as a representative of Yabancıstan, and that one false move will have all those around you repeating 'you see what foreigners do with their kids.' Pressure!
Having said that, there is nothing I like better than watching other mothers incredulously as they interact with their kids. This is not only a mild form of entertainment, it also serves to convince me that I am doing a pretty good job after all. E and I often go to IKEA for breakfast (3 ytl for breakfast and as much bread and coffee as you can manaage, bargain!) once we've got rid of D, erm I mean dropped D off at nursery. Here are some of the things I noticed today and at other times that have me inwardly scratching my head asking myself why she is doing that, surely it would be better if she did abc, can't she just keep that kid under control.
1) This is something that is totally the norm here and I see it all the time but it never ceases to amaze me what a ridiculous, illogical waste of time it is. The kid runs around playing while the mother sits down with a plate of food, the mother then gets a forkfull of food, chases the child around the play area a couple of times, all the while holding the fork of food with their other hand cupped underneath the fork in case of droppages, and finally deposits the fork of food in the child's mouth. The mother then goes back to get another forkfull while the kid runs around playing with their mouth full of food. And so it goes on until the end of the meal. Is it me or is that the stupidest thing ever? I feel like asking what they think the child would do if they didn't feed them in this way. I feel like telling them that if the child were hungry they would sit down and eat. But I feel that they would think that that would be like starving your child into submission. And I think who I am to judge as I see them eye me surreptiously as E self feeds (and you know how messy that can be when they're so young)and when D is with me, as he eats his muffin first before his lunch, and scoops up food with his hands when he gets bored of trying with the fork, then puts his hand in the air and shakes it to get rid of all the food stuck to it.
2) What often happens is a group of mothers come out for breakfast and put the toddlers in the play area (I mean the play area in the restaurant). They then try their best to ignore the kids while they have their breakfast. Unsupervised toddlers? Small space? Limited toys? HAHAHA! So today, one girl is sitting on a little chair turning the steering wheel thingy and another girl wants a go. The first girl is not going to move so the second girl keeps running back to her mummy in tears, mummy just wants to have breakfast and not deal with the kid so she goes to the other kid, looks around for her mother, who is having breakfast with her mates trying her best to ignore her kid, so the second girl's mummy picks up the first girl and physically moves her so that her kid can play and leave her in peace. The first kid, rightly so, starts having a big tantrum but her mummy has no idea what has happened.
3) An older child had been playing in the play area (the one where you can leave kids) and his mother came to collect him and noticed that he'd been sweating. So she proceeds to remove his clothing, down to vest and pants, in the middle of the shop to put some non sweaty clothes on him. Now that must be a real dilemma because surely by undressing him she's risking him getting cold (and getting ill and dying). So what's more dangerous? What's the biggest threat to health, standing around a shop in vest and pants or going home in sweaty clothes?
4)Another, older child, filled his chubby little hands with those little pencils, he couldn't get enough pencils into each paw. Then he stuffed them all into his pockets. His mother did her best to ignore him.
So the policy seems to be ignore them unless it's anything to do with food or body temperature and then go totally over the top.
Then there's mothers like this one who make us all look like supermum. But that's a whole nuther discussion
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
one more step away from toddlerhood
Today I was going to write a post about how D has stopped napping. I was going to recollect all the time and energy I've put into getting him to nap over the last 3 years. All the methods I've used, breastfeeding, rocking, etc. The months when I would regularly go for a walk at 2pm with D in his pushchair for his afternoon nap. I would have talked about how we gradually moved away from breastfeeding to sleep, to me staying with him until he slept, to eventually (only a couple of months ago) being able to put him in bed and leave the room. I would have recorded our naptime routine which has remained more or less unchanged since he was 12 months: nappy change or more recently potty, then books and milk, then lights off and lie down. Not that it's always been easy. There's been tears, stress, refusal to nap on his part, refusal to give in on mine, the tiptoeing around once he finally dropped off, the relief and feeling of freedom once he was tucked up in bed fast asleep. The last couple of months when I've taken to giving him a small gift when he wakes up from a nap (some may call it bribery, I prefer to think of it as an incentive and a small price to pay for an hour to myself). How I finally got the two of them to nap at the same time and reclaimed my hour to myself. How my triumph was shortlived as once I'd got E napping at the same time as D, he decided he wasn't napping anymore. Not for anything, even the mystery present. How I realised that I just had to accept that he was growing up and perhaps really didn't need that nap anymore. How naptime has been renamed quiet time when E sleeps, I have a cuppa and use the internet and D does something quiet on his own. I would have bid a fond farewell to something that has become ingrained in our daily lives for the last 3 years. The thing is though, he's fast asleep on the settee beside me. I knew that 'quiet time' would work ;)
While Dh is away
1) Don't write a blogpost about how DH is away for a week and you're all alone with the kids, all night, that's like all the time that it's dark, you, alone, poor, defenceless little you, with 2 helpless little children.
2) Don't watch any films that have the following words on the cover, killer, murder, thriller, horror, psychological thriller, supernatural, home alone, home alone with two kids
3) Don't watch the crime channel. Don't even stop on that channel when zapping, you know how the most gristly, ghastly true crime stories are the ones that somehow have a secret power to suck you in so that you end up knowing how such and such a seriel killer lured his victims into his lair, the pleasure he got from torturing them, and how he finally disposed of their bodies. If you do, against your better judgement, choose to disregard this advice, and find that you've watched an entire programme on some evil killer, turn over before the shot where they do a close up of his face, then slowly zoom in on his eyes, so that you feel that you are looking into the eyes of pure evil. You'll be haunted by them all night, and the next night, and the next.
4) Don't read any news stories that contain the words 'mother killed while sleeping', 'woman killed in her own home', 'murdered woman surprised intruder', etc
5)Leave more lights on than usual
6)Double lock the door, put the chain on. Check several times before turning in that you have actually locked the door. Oh and don't forget to leave the keys near the door, there might be an earthquake.
7)Remind yourself that you can always stay at the in-laws,...or they could come here
8) Relax and enjoy the time to yourself!
By the way, for the information of any potential internet stalkers, he's back now
2) Don't watch any films that have the following words on the cover, killer, murder, thriller, horror, psychological thriller, supernatural, home alone, home alone with two kids
3) Don't watch the crime channel. Don't even stop on that channel when zapping, you know how the most gristly, ghastly true crime stories are the ones that somehow have a secret power to suck you in so that you end up knowing how such and such a seriel killer lured his victims into his lair, the pleasure he got from torturing them, and how he finally disposed of their bodies. If you do, against your better judgement, choose to disregard this advice, and find that you've watched an entire programme on some evil killer, turn over before the shot where they do a close up of his face, then slowly zoom in on his eyes, so that you feel that you are looking into the eyes of pure evil. You'll be haunted by them all night, and the next night, and the next.
4) Don't read any news stories that contain the words 'mother killed while sleeping', 'woman killed in her own home', 'murdered woman surprised intruder', etc
5)Leave more lights on than usual
6)Double lock the door, put the chain on. Check several times before turning in that you have actually locked the door. Oh and don't forget to leave the keys near the door, there might be an earthquake.
7)Remind yourself that you can always stay at the in-laws,...or they could come here
8) Relax and enjoy the time to yourself!
By the way, for the information of any potential internet stalkers, he's back now
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Why I don't watch many films
I don't think I've watched more than 20 films since D was born. That was 2006. The main reason of course is that I just don't have time. Anytime I have attempted to watch a film, I get all comfy on the sofa or in bed and promptly drop straight off to sleep.
The problem with watching certain films is that you get into them, get gripped by them and start to get affected. It's like the time when E was a newborn. I decided a film was just the ticket to take me out of myself, a bit of escapism. So I dimmed the lights in the bedroom, got the laptop propped up in bed whilst E slept soundly in the moses basket beside me. I'd quickly flicked through the films we had and chosen one that looked a bit like a light romance, The Changeling with Angelina Jolie. Of course, I didn't have time to read what it was about. Half an hour into the film I was gripped, glued to the screen, tense, terrified, shoulders to ears. I don't know about you but I think a child seriel killer is a bad choice of subject for light entertainment. After a while all I could feel was the terror of those boys, and the poor mother. Hoping beyond hope that he was still alive. Then it's Madeleine McCann, and all the other children that have gone missing. Where are they? What's being done to them? How can people be so evil? Why is there so much bad in the world? And there's this voice in my head going 'Turn it off, don't watch it'. But I can't stop watching because I have to see the resolution, I have to get rid of that horrible feeling, because it's Hollywood, right? It's Angelina Jolie, right? This cannot just be a film about a boy that gets abducted and possibly murdered along with dozens of others. But it was. No resolution. It left me with a stone in my chest.
So last night, the kids had gone off to sleep no probs and I found myself with a whole evening to myself. I know, I'll watch a film, I think, reaching for the pile of dvds I keep adding to thinking oh that looks alright I'll watch that one day. So I chose Little Children with Kate Winslet. It said something about Academy awards on the cover and I like Kate Winslet. Seemed like a safe choice. The scene was immediately set with a radio report about someone being released from prison for exposing himself to a minor and the subsequent panic in the community. Immediately the warning voice in my head was shouting 'turn it off', but I didn't because Kate Winslet wouldn't star in a film with such a distasteful subject matter, it's Hollywood, it's not going to be about anything bad. Anyway it turns out to be about two people who meet through their kids, bored with the marriages who start to have an affair. But I've still got this uneasy feeling because there's all these cute little children and this predator. I mean, what's he got to do with the story, where's it all going? Then there's a little character development and you sort of start to feel sorry for the guy. He goes on a date and seems to want to live a normal life. He meets another damaged soul and they're both crying out to be loved. Then there's the CAR SCENE. My heart was pounding, I felt a genuine discomfort watching that scene, not like when you watch a horror and you feel scared but it's a good sort of scared, one you enjoy in a way. No I just felt real fear, horror and disgust. Of course, they couldn't have him abuse a child, so they have him abuse the nearest thing, a young woman who is totally screwed up from being abused as a child. But he was so nice in the restaurant, you think. Exactly! That's what they call grooming. How else would people leave their kids with them? I feel compelled to go and check on the kids and they are sleeping soundly. I look at D, snug and peaceful, safe and secure. Just as every 3 year old should be. God knows they can be annoying little sods sometimes but every child deserves to feel safe and loved. They rely on adults totally and it's an utter, total betrayal. Why do these things happen? How do people ever let their kids out of their sight? Why does this badness exsist?
And so, I found myself at 11.30pm with this stone in my chest again. How am I supposed to sleep now? I had to turn on BBC prime to bring me out of it. Fortunately, for once BBC prime had something decent on, This Life 10+ so I ended up watching that until over midnight. Then with the usual night rousings and the 6am start I'm absolutely knackered today. So, no, watching films is not a good way to relax.
The problem with watching certain films is that you get into them, get gripped by them and start to get affected. It's like the time when E was a newborn. I decided a film was just the ticket to take me out of myself, a bit of escapism. So I dimmed the lights in the bedroom, got the laptop propped up in bed whilst E slept soundly in the moses basket beside me. I'd quickly flicked through the films we had and chosen one that looked a bit like a light romance, The Changeling with Angelina Jolie. Of course, I didn't have time to read what it was about. Half an hour into the film I was gripped, glued to the screen, tense, terrified, shoulders to ears. I don't know about you but I think a child seriel killer is a bad choice of subject for light entertainment. After a while all I could feel was the terror of those boys, and the poor mother. Hoping beyond hope that he was still alive. Then it's Madeleine McCann, and all the other children that have gone missing. Where are they? What's being done to them? How can people be so evil? Why is there so much bad in the world? And there's this voice in my head going 'Turn it off, don't watch it'. But I can't stop watching because I have to see the resolution, I have to get rid of that horrible feeling, because it's Hollywood, right? It's Angelina Jolie, right? This cannot just be a film about a boy that gets abducted and possibly murdered along with dozens of others. But it was. No resolution. It left me with a stone in my chest.
So last night, the kids had gone off to sleep no probs and I found myself with a whole evening to myself. I know, I'll watch a film, I think, reaching for the pile of dvds I keep adding to thinking oh that looks alright I'll watch that one day. So I chose Little Children with Kate Winslet. It said something about Academy awards on the cover and I like Kate Winslet. Seemed like a safe choice. The scene was immediately set with a radio report about someone being released from prison for exposing himself to a minor and the subsequent panic in the community. Immediately the warning voice in my head was shouting 'turn it off', but I didn't because Kate Winslet wouldn't star in a film with such a distasteful subject matter, it's Hollywood, it's not going to be about anything bad. Anyway it turns out to be about two people who meet through their kids, bored with the marriages who start to have an affair. But I've still got this uneasy feeling because there's all these cute little children and this predator. I mean, what's he got to do with the story, where's it all going? Then there's a little character development and you sort of start to feel sorry for the guy. He goes on a date and seems to want to live a normal life. He meets another damaged soul and they're both crying out to be loved. Then there's the CAR SCENE. My heart was pounding, I felt a genuine discomfort watching that scene, not like when you watch a horror and you feel scared but it's a good sort of scared, one you enjoy in a way. No I just felt real fear, horror and disgust. Of course, they couldn't have him abuse a child, so they have him abuse the nearest thing, a young woman who is totally screwed up from being abused as a child. But he was so nice in the restaurant, you think. Exactly! That's what they call grooming. How else would people leave their kids with them? I feel compelled to go and check on the kids and they are sleeping soundly. I look at D, snug and peaceful, safe and secure. Just as every 3 year old should be. God knows they can be annoying little sods sometimes but every child deserves to feel safe and loved. They rely on adults totally and it's an utter, total betrayal. Why do these things happen? How do people ever let their kids out of their sight? Why does this badness exsist?
And so, I found myself at 11.30pm with this stone in my chest again. How am I supposed to sleep now? I had to turn on BBC prime to bring me out of it. Fortunately, for once BBC prime had something decent on, This Life 10+ so I ended up watching that until over midnight. Then with the usual night rousings and the 6am start I'm absolutely knackered today. So, no, watching films is not a good way to relax.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Winter, just like that.
Last week, as I was sitting on the beach with my trousers rolled up to my knees, worrying about the kids getting sunburnt, I realised that it was a week until Halloween and Bonfire night. These two traditions but more especially Bonfire night are so atmospheric because of the season in which they take place. Some of my earliest memories (probably from the age D is now) are of running round a bonfire, eating red hot roasted chestnuts and baked potatoes, frozen hands covered with socks instead of gloves (I don't think it was necessarily a money thing, there were 5 of us, if I had that many kids I'd have trouble keeping track of my own gloves nevermind 5 little people's!). Having to find the cat and keep her indoors. Getting as close as you can to the fire to stave off the cold, then having to back off because you're too warm. Burning cheeks, fingers and toes when you finally escape the cold dark evening and go back into the warm house. Since I've lived here I've often thought about having my own little bonfire party but never get round to it. This year again the thought crossed my mind but sitting on that beach last week I told myself (that even if I could muster up the motivation to organise it) it wouldn't be the same here without the autumnal weather.
Well I needn't have worried about that! In the space of a week our lifestyle has changed from being semi-outdoors most of the time to doors and windows closed, indoors all day and lights on at 3pm. There comes a point in every Istanbul summer when it just seems to have been so hot for so long when you catch a glimpse of jumpers and blankets at the back of cupboards it's hard to conceive that you will ever need to use them again. I still haven't entirely packed away the summer clothes. D still has a couple of pairs of shorts hanging around and my wardrobe until now is mainly t-shirts and jeans and a cardy for when it's a bit chilly. Well I think we can definitely unpack the winter suff now. As I was getting the kids ready I realised they both have very little in the way of winter stuff to wear. I've had to have an emergency shopping trip to buy coats, jumpers, vests and tights for them.
I nervously drove from one side of Istanbul to the other yesterday to spend the night at my in-laws. As I set off the rain was lashing down. The sound of the rain pounding down on the car and the rythmic swishing of the windscreen wipers quickly lulled the kids off to sleep. It had the the opposite effect on me as drivers whizzed past me, zigzag overtaking in fairly heavy traffic with reduced visibility both from the pounding rain and the spray off the road. At one point I wondered if I should turn back as the flash-flooding of about 6 weeks ago in which several people lost their lives sprang to mind. As I lay awake with E in the middle of the night, I heard the wind howl through the trees. Driving back today, the weather not quite so harsh, grey skies, evidence of the wind by seeing the trees bend back and forth, I could almost smell the cinnamon. I dreamed of getting home to a nice warm house and a mug of steaming hot cocoa. Now I'm back home and having to make do with a jumper and a coffee.
Well I needn't have worried about that! In the space of a week our lifestyle has changed from being semi-outdoors most of the time to doors and windows closed, indoors all day and lights on at 3pm. There comes a point in every Istanbul summer when it just seems to have been so hot for so long when you catch a glimpse of jumpers and blankets at the back of cupboards it's hard to conceive that you will ever need to use them again. I still haven't entirely packed away the summer clothes. D still has a couple of pairs of shorts hanging around and my wardrobe until now is mainly t-shirts and jeans and a cardy for when it's a bit chilly. Well I think we can definitely unpack the winter suff now. As I was getting the kids ready I realised they both have very little in the way of winter stuff to wear. I've had to have an emergency shopping trip to buy coats, jumpers, vests and tights for them.
I nervously drove from one side of Istanbul to the other yesterday to spend the night at my in-laws. As I set off the rain was lashing down. The sound of the rain pounding down on the car and the rythmic swishing of the windscreen wipers quickly lulled the kids off to sleep. It had the the opposite effect on me as drivers whizzed past me, zigzag overtaking in fairly heavy traffic with reduced visibility both from the pounding rain and the spray off the road. At one point I wondered if I should turn back as the flash-flooding of about 6 weeks ago in which several people lost their lives sprang to mind. As I lay awake with E in the middle of the night, I heard the wind howl through the trees. Driving back today, the weather not quite so harsh, grey skies, evidence of the wind by seeing the trees bend back and forth, I could almost smell the cinnamon. I dreamed of getting home to a nice warm house and a mug of steaming hot cocoa. Now I'm back home and having to make do with a jumper and a coffee.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The bloody swines
Far be it from me to suggest that Turkish people like nothing better than a good crisis but I will never forget being told quite earnestly not to take the children to any parks in case they got bitten by a killer tick and died. Because, of course it would be much safer for us to wander round the non-pavemented roads filled with an over abundance of cars mainly driven by people whose only concern is getting from a to b in the shorter possible time (think Dukes of Hazard x 100,000). I mean, what's the alternative apart from sitting at home all day. Yeah but everyone knows that's not safe because thieves sneak into buildings when people inadvertantly leave the front door open and then hide under the stairs and wait all day for you to open your door so they can pounce on you and steal all your gold and cash because a cardboard box under the bed is the safest place to store all your most valuable possessions.
So, the first I heard of swine flu I was a little relieved because in my badly-informed mind, it was carried and spread by pigs. During the bird flu crisis we couldn't go anywhere near anything remotely feathered and a lot of people gave up eating chicken. Well, it's easy enough to avoid pigs round here, and as for giving up pork, well the lack of availability of it here means you don't have much choice. At least we'll be spared the media frenzy and subsequent hysteria of the general population.
Well it turns out there's as much of a pandemic here as everywhere else. Someone DIED of it last week. I've asked a couple of people I've heard talking about this death, whether the person was elderly or had a weak immune system but no-one seems to know. All we need to know is that someone died of swine flu and so we could all die, all 70 million of us.
One way of dealing with this hysteria, I mean pandemic, is to close all the schools (that have barely been back a month after the 3 month summer break) in the country in order to disinfect them. This closure is to take place tomorrow. The fact that I was only told about this on Wednesday (today is a holiday here), would really annoy me if I were a working parent. It sort of bugs me anyway cos I'll have a whole day home alone with both kids and anywhere I might take them to relieve the boredom and break up the day will be overcrowded with kids that should be at school.
All parents were also given a letter from the school pointing out how important hygiene is. It reminded us about handwashing and suggested we avoid kissing (I assume they mean the peck on the cheek greeting-type kiss rather than snogging), shaking hands and going to crowded places, which in Istanbul means everywhere apart from my own home and even that feels sort of claustrophobic when we have 'guests'. I'd also like to add to that list a few things that I see done all the time that really are unhygienic like the communal water glass, the communal salad, using your own spoon to serve food to a child (yes I mean MY child), and my biggest bugbear, leaving used tissues lying around.
So, the first I heard of swine flu I was a little relieved because in my badly-informed mind, it was carried and spread by pigs. During the bird flu crisis we couldn't go anywhere near anything remotely feathered and a lot of people gave up eating chicken. Well, it's easy enough to avoid pigs round here, and as for giving up pork, well the lack of availability of it here means you don't have much choice. At least we'll be spared the media frenzy and subsequent hysteria of the general population.
Well it turns out there's as much of a pandemic here as everywhere else. Someone DIED of it last week. I've asked a couple of people I've heard talking about this death, whether the person was elderly or had a weak immune system but no-one seems to know. All we need to know is that someone died of swine flu and so we could all die, all 70 million of us.
One way of dealing with this hysteria, I mean pandemic, is to close all the schools (that have barely been back a month after the 3 month summer break) in the country in order to disinfect them. This closure is to take place tomorrow. The fact that I was only told about this on Wednesday (today is a holiday here), would really annoy me if I were a working parent. It sort of bugs me anyway cos I'll have a whole day home alone with both kids and anywhere I might take them to relieve the boredom and break up the day will be overcrowded with kids that should be at school.
All parents were also given a letter from the school pointing out how important hygiene is. It reminded us about handwashing and suggested we avoid kissing (I assume they mean the peck on the cheek greeting-type kiss rather than snogging), shaking hands and going to crowded places, which in Istanbul means everywhere apart from my own home and even that feels sort of claustrophobic when we have 'guests'. I'd also like to add to that list a few things that I see done all the time that really are unhygienic like the communal water glass, the communal salad, using your own spoon to serve food to a child (yes I mean MY child), and my biggest bugbear, leaving used tissues lying around.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The day the clocks went back
Although we didn't realise it until sometime this morning, thanks everybody for reminding us. Me and DH nearly had a big row this morning as he complained that he'd been up since 6 with D, but I knew for a fact that he'd been snuggled up with me until 7. Turns out we were both right, his phone time had changed automatically, mine hadn't.
Anyway, we'd recently decided to have more family days out, rather than hanging round home at weekends, where neither of us seem to be able to relax properly. I desperately try to get as much housework done as I can while DH looks after the kids (this arrangement is not really me trying to fulfill the role of good Turkish wife, we've sort of come to an unspoken agreement about this. DH gets to spend very little quality time with the kids during the week, whereas I get more than enough of them, so doing the housework without constantly rushing off to deal with some other disaster seems like a piece of cake). The trouble with this arrangement is that having everyone home all weekend means no sooner have I got things into a liveable state they are immediately wrecked again. Also, for DH, who hasn't got quite the same knack as I have for occupying 2 kids at the same time (no I don't just stick them in front of the TV, well, not often anyway), it gets pretty exhausting. Thus the 'days out' decision.
So yesterday we decided to go to Şile, which is a seaside town on the Black Sea, about an hour's drive from Istanbul. We packed a flask and a blanket, buckets, spades, a towel (yes I know it's nearly the end of October but I for one am going to have a paddle), and a football, expecting to have a brisk run around on the beach, warm up with a cup of coffee (not the kids obviously, they'd just have to stay cold) before heading back indoors for a delicious fish meal. I don't know why I was surprised when we arrived and it was red hot. So much so, that we started to regret not packing sunscreen for the kids. Weather-wise, it was a glorious summer's day, and here we all were, with jackets, fleeces and not a swimming costume in sight. Not that that was to put D off, who in true British seaside style, got soaked through while paddling and spent the rest of the afternoon making sandcastles in his pants. It really was the perfect day out for all of us. E, who wasn't mobile in the (real) summer, now realised that she loved the sand (go on let her have a crawl around). Well, that was until, she decided to see what it felT like if you lay down prostrate with your mouth open (nasty for someone who doesn't know how to spit). Then once she'd tired herself out, we stuck her in a swingchair in the beach cafe and she dropped off within a couple of minutes, leaving us to collect shells to decorate D's sand muffins.
Once we'd tired of the beach and worked up an appetite from all that sea-air we headed off for our late-lunch/early dinner. There's only one thing to eat when you're by the sea, freshly caught fish on one of the moored boats in the harbour. Now you may be thinking, boats, cramped eating conditions, a preschooler and a mobile baby, are they mad? Perhaps we are, but on this particular day I think we were just lucky. Or is it that, the kids are showing all the signs of having the same love affair with food that their mummy does? While there was food on the table, the kids were stationary and occupied. The whole meal was stress-free, me and DH even enjoyed an alcholic beverage apiece. The only hiccups in the whole afternoon were when D needed the toilet and the one on the boat was an a la turka (squat down toilet), which for some reaon D is scared of (maybe that dark, dirty looking hole, actually, I'm pretty scared of them too) and when he started to get a bit bored during that post-meal 'shall we ask for the bill' period. Fortunately, D's ever resourceful mummy quickly resolved both issues, one hidden in front of the parked car and the other with a fish (how about that) sticker book that I just happened to have in my bag.
Anyway, we'd recently decided to have more family days out, rather than hanging round home at weekends, where neither of us seem to be able to relax properly. I desperately try to get as much housework done as I can while DH looks after the kids (this arrangement is not really me trying to fulfill the role of good Turkish wife, we've sort of come to an unspoken agreement about this. DH gets to spend very little quality time with the kids during the week, whereas I get more than enough of them, so doing the housework without constantly rushing off to deal with some other disaster seems like a piece of cake). The trouble with this arrangement is that having everyone home all weekend means no sooner have I got things into a liveable state they are immediately wrecked again. Also, for DH, who hasn't got quite the same knack as I have for occupying 2 kids at the same time (no I don't just stick them in front of the TV, well, not often anyway), it gets pretty exhausting. Thus the 'days out' decision.
So yesterday we decided to go to Şile, which is a seaside town on the Black Sea, about an hour's drive from Istanbul. We packed a flask and a blanket, buckets, spades, a towel (yes I know it's nearly the end of October but I for one am going to have a paddle), and a football, expecting to have a brisk run around on the beach, warm up with a cup of coffee (not the kids obviously, they'd just have to stay cold) before heading back indoors for a delicious fish meal. I don't know why I was surprised when we arrived and it was red hot. So much so, that we started to regret not packing sunscreen for the kids. Weather-wise, it was a glorious summer's day, and here we all were, with jackets, fleeces and not a swimming costume in sight. Not that that was to put D off, who in true British seaside style, got soaked through while paddling and spent the rest of the afternoon making sandcastles in his pants. It really was the perfect day out for all of us. E, who wasn't mobile in the (real) summer, now realised that she loved the sand (go on let her have a crawl around). Well, that was until, she decided to see what it felT like if you lay down prostrate with your mouth open (nasty for someone who doesn't know how to spit). Then once she'd tired herself out, we stuck her in a swingchair in the beach cafe and she dropped off within a couple of minutes, leaving us to collect shells to decorate D's sand muffins.
Once we'd tired of the beach and worked up an appetite from all that sea-air we headed off for our late-lunch/early dinner. There's only one thing to eat when you're by the sea, freshly caught fish on one of the moored boats in the harbour. Now you may be thinking, boats, cramped eating conditions, a preschooler and a mobile baby, are they mad? Perhaps we are, but on this particular day I think we were just lucky. Or is it that, the kids are showing all the signs of having the same love affair with food that their mummy does? While there was food on the table, the kids were stationary and occupied. The whole meal was stress-free, me and DH even enjoyed an alcholic beverage apiece. The only hiccups in the whole afternoon were when D needed the toilet and the one on the boat was an a la turka (squat down toilet), which for some reaon D is scared of (maybe that dark, dirty looking hole, actually, I'm pretty scared of them too) and when he started to get a bit bored during that post-meal 'shall we ask for the bill' period. Fortunately, D's ever resourceful mummy quickly resolved both issues, one hidden in front of the parked car and the other with a fish (how about that) sticker book that I just happened to have in my bag.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
